Take the challenge and decide to be a better parent every single day. I think we should all band together and decide that we are going to support each other to do a better job with our children. Let’s start a revolution that says we are going to make a difference in the future of the world and we are going to start at home, with our children.Return to Cheryl’s home page
How much do you want to know about what goes on in the life of your child? Many parents talk a good game, but really don’t want to have to deal with the difficult situations that come up in the life of every child.
How do you know if you are in denial?
You can begin by listening to your inner voice. And, don’t be afraid to ask other adults who know your child what they think might be going on. This is especially true if you have a teenager. Do not underestimate how sneaky our little darlings can be. They will often play one game with their parents and let their guard down when they are out of the house.Return to thedivorcedparentschallenge.com
One of the most troubling aspects of growing up today is that I am watching an entire generation grow up believing that if they are not connected, constantly connected, they are not truly alive. Kids text message each other during a movie. They are not really watching the movie in this case, but thinking about what they should text to their friends. The cell phone is always within reach and kids panic if the battery gets low. They instant message while listening to music and surfing the internet.
What this tells me is that we are raising an entire generation of children who don’t understand the need to sometimes sit quietly and contemplate life and relationships. I think the reason these children are this way is that they fear that if they are not constantly connected, they will be forgotten. It is a self esteem issue. They fear that if they are out of the loop, someone will take their place.
Parents, encourage your children to sit quietly, read a book, take a walk - whatever might help them become comfortable being with themselves. This always is enhanced when you also spend quiet time with your child. It shows them that you can also disconnect from the outside world and give your child your undivided attention.
Look for me at Harrison Street Books in Easton, Maryland on June 27, 2007 at 7 p.m. I will be talking about The Divorced Parent’s Challenge.Return to Cheryl’s web page
Just do it. Be a better parent after your divorce. When you do this, you will be happier and so will your child.
How do you stop? One negative thought at a time!
You can do a better job.
Step one: Don’t be a jerk.
Return to The Divorced Parent’s Challenge web page and buy the book.
Destination - New York City for the BEA, or Book Expo America. The Expo is at the Javits Center in Manhatten.
Why? I am introducing my new book, The Divorced Parent’s Challenge: Eight lessons to teach children love and forgiveness. I will be in booth #3044 on Friday afternoon from 3-3:30 p.m.
If you are there, look for me, Cheryl Grabenstein. I will be wearing a bright green t-shirt with big letters announcing The Divorced Parent’s Challenge.
Take a moment to think about a relationship conflict. Often we get into these conflicts because of our overwhelming need to be right and we will go to great lengths to convince others of our superiority in one area or another. Some of us will even seek out conflict because we are so addicted to being right that we pick fights with others.
Now, think about a child. Your heart softened didn’t it? It no longer seems so important to take on the conflict.
This is the basis for the Divorced Parent’s Challenge - keep the experience of the child in our minds and our hearts will soften and conflict becomes less important for us.
As we do this for our children, we will also be opening ourselves up to finding other things that soften our hearts. Because, let’s face it - it really does feel better to be soft than it does to be hard hearted.
There is a difference between self-affirmation, self-validation and self promotion. The first two require you to look within yourself. Self promotion requires validation from others.
I just went to a ewomen’s convention in Dallas. I was hoping to promote my new book, The Divorced Parent’s Challenge. I have relied on the quidance from publishing professionals in this group to help me complete my book.
Most of the books were self-serving in that they were written under the premise that if you do what I did, you will get where I am. Baloney!
There is no right way to achieve personal satisfaction, just as there is no right way to parent a child. I wrote a book that helps each parent find their own way and recognize areas where they might need to be paying more attention to their parenting decisions. The only firm advice I gave was to ask parents to please reconsider cheating on their spouse while still living at home because this brings tremendous feelings of betrayal to every member of the family.
Very few of the hundreds of divorced women wanted to take my challenge. They do not understand that building a business is not as time sensitive as the life of a child.
Return to Cheryl’s website
Why don’t more divorced parents realize that if their children are whiny and difficult, they make it more difficult to find satisfying adult relationships? Children sabotage relationships if parents allow that to happen. This is because children are possessive in nature and see any attention of yours that goes elsewhere as meaning less attention for them. Ironically, when kids do this parents are usually less effective because the kids are the ones running the show.
Relieve your child of the awesome responsibility of running your life. You and your kids will be happier as a result.
Return to www.thedivorcedparentschallenge.com